The Olivet Discourse: Part Eight

Matthew 25:1-13 – “The Parable of The Teenage Bridesmaids” 

A sermon by Pastor Joe Haynes

Preached on October 13, 2024 at Beacon Church

The Lord Jesus Christ is coming back. In Mat 23:39, He told the people of Jerusalem they wouldn’t see him again until they say “Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!” In Mat 24:27, He said His coming will be as visible as lightning across the sky; in verse 30, that “they will see the Son of Man coming” with power and great glory; in verse 33, that His coming is near; in verse 42 that you don’t know when “your Lord is coming;” and in verse 44, that “the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.” The Lord Jesus is coming back. So are you living like He is coming back? Or do you care if He never does? Do you long to be raised from the dead to be with Jesus? Or do you imagine you can live happily ever after without Him? Mark my words: there is no happy ever after apart from the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ.

In Mat 25:1-13, the Lord pictures His second coming as the first day of the happy future every real Christian is waiting for. He describes a wedding. A union. A coming together in order to be together. But there are a lot of people in a lot of churches who seem to imagine being happy in heaven without Jesus. Are you one of those people? Do you dream of an eternal reward, of life after death, of everlasting happiness that doesn’t begin with a wedding? With a union? With a coming together in order to be together with Jesus? I want you this morning to give careful consideration and thought to this parable. Jesus didn’t put this teaching in the form of a parable to spare you from needing to think. A few years ago we had a particularly heavy snow fall and our whole neighbourhood was completely snowed-in. Nobody was going anywhere until the municipality’s lone snow plow got around to clearing our street. But I had a red 2000 Ford Ranger 4x4. So while the neighbours with looked on with envy, I put my truck in four-wheel-drive low gear, and climbed up over the snowbank, through the deep snow, all the way to Tim Horton’s—and returned with donuts and coffee for my stranded family. 4-low (gear) on that 4x4 sure is slow. But it’s not made for speed: it’s made for when there’s work to do—and it did the job! Well, the Lord Jesus told this parable to force His disciples to ponder, to reflect, to put their brains in low gear and work.

Some of the meaning of this parable is obvious. His second coming, the coming of His Kingdom from Heaven is like a wedding. And He is the bridegroom. It’s not the first time Jesus compared Himself to a bridegroom. He did that in Mat 9:15 talking to John’s disciples. He did it again in Mat 22:2, in a parable He told to those leaders who wanted to kill Him. But He never said who the bride is. Hmmm. That should make you think. It’s also clear in this parable that you are supposed to want to be included in this wedding feast, not shut out of it. In 24:51, the wicked servant is sent away to where hypocrites go: “In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” Jesus is talking about Hell. And the implication is again obvious that the foolish people shut out of the feast end up in Hell. So think with me. Consider. Evaluate. Who are you in this parable about the wedding?

The Lord describes three scenes that make you consider what separates true and false Christians when His Kingdom comes. Looking then to how the Lord Jesus told this story, there are three distinct scenes. The first scene is the delay of the bridegroom in verses 1-5. The second scene is the arrival of the bridegroom in verses 6-10. And the third scene is the banquet of the bridegroom in verses 11-13. You need to think about what’s happening in these scenes. I have three questions for your consideration this morning.

How do the bride & groom treat the virgins? (1-5)

This question is important because Jesus says this is a picture of your future. “"Then the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom,” (Matt. 25:1 ESV). See the future tense verb in verse 1? The Kingdom will be like this. It will be comparable to this. It will be similar to this. Not that the Kingdom is like this but that this is what the future will be like. Your future. Everybody who claims to be a Christian, who wants to be part of the Kingdom of Heaven, on the day when Jesus returns, will be like this. Like what? See three things here. First Jesus says the future Kingdom will be like ten virgins. Then Jesus describes the ten virgins. Then He explains why He describes them that way.

The future will be like ten virgins. The word “virgin” here is needs to be taken in light of that culture. A “virgin” here means a young woman who is now old enough to get married but still sexually inactive—a teenager. But in a wedding context, ten teenage virgins mean bridesmaids:[i] ten girls chosen to be the bride’s attendants at her wedding. This is a surprising twist. Compare the last 15 verses. There you have more focus on your responsibility to others (e.g, verses 43 and 45). But teenage bridesmaids only have one responsibility. I must admit, a modern bridesmaid’s job is something of a mystery to me. I mean, I know they stand beside the bride often holding flowers, and the maid of honour helps the bride with the train of her dress and signs the wedding documents. But most of that is ornamental. For show. I suspect there is a lot more that goes on behind the scenes. Probably involving preparations, and hair and makeup and specifics men don’t need to know about. But I do know what the main job of these ten bridesmaids is supposed to be: to meet the bridegroom when he comes to get the bride and to light their way in procession to the wedding feast. That’s why they need lamps. More like torches for lighting the way in the dark.[ii] Second…

Jesus describes the ten bridesmaids. “Five of them were foolish, and five were wise,” (Matt. 25:2 ESV). Jesus says half of them were fools and half were wise. The word for wise means thoughtful. That’s one reason I said you need to think. Jesus isn’t dismissive of them because they are teenage girls. He doesn’t say teenage girls are silly. He doesn’t disparage them or ignore them. He says 5 are thoughtful. And He’s saying everyone should follow the example of these 5 thoughtful teenage girls. The wise gave care and thought to their role as bridesmaids. The foolish ones did not. The wise took their job as bridesmaids very seriously. The foolish did not. So third…

Jesus explains why. “For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them,  4 but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps,” (Matt. 25:3-4 ESV). As I said, the bridesmaids had one job: to light the way for the bride and groom in the procession to the wedding feast. Apparently it was normal to do this at night, in the dark, so the light the bridesmaids gave was essential. They had to walk from the bride’s family home to the groom’s home for the feast. In the dark. Well that’s why the wise were wise and the foolish were foolish. In this first scene, the bridesmaids are waiting for the bridegroom to come. The wise came prepared to wait. Like bringing extra batteries for the flashlights, or making sure your phone is charged and bringing the charging cable along just in case. They brought enough oil to make sure their torches stayed lit as long as necessary. In case the things took longer than expected. But the foolish weren’t prepared. And as it turned out, that meant they were not able to do their duty as bridesmaids. “As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept,” (Matt. 25:5 ESV). Jesus doesn’t criticize them for falling asleep (not like in v42). It was night time. They were probably waiting outside the bride’s home with their torches burning, waiting for the groom to come and get his bride. And it took so long they fell asleep.

Most of this would be obvious to Matthew’s original Jewish readers, just as it was obvious to those disciples. They knew the customs, they understood what the bridesmaids’ job was. And I’m pretty sure they also knew what the bridegroom’s delay was about. What took him so long? He wasn’t out bowling, or drinking with his friends. Apparently delays were normal. This was when “financial arrangements” were discussed between the groom and the bride’s family. Longer discussions meant more presents from the groom and more money for the bride’s family. A long delay suggests how much he values his bride.[iii] [iv] So now think about this question: how do the bride and groom (it’s implied) treat these ten bridesmaids? Well being a bridesmaid for most young girls was the biggest honour of their young lives. It was a privilege to lead their friend in her wedding procession through the streets of their town people came out to watch and congratulate the couple. And the wise bridesmaids expected things to take a long time because they were confident that the bridegroom loves his bride very much. The foolish, apparently, didn’t think about it.

I said the Lord describes three scenes that make you consider what separates true and false Christians when His Kingdom comes. The first scene teaches that true Christians believe that being a Christian is the greatest possible honour. True Christians are honoured to be chosen by God to know and serve His Son. True Christians consider serving the Lord to be a calling higher than any other. True Christians serve the Lord until He comes. And you know what? True Christians realize that the longer the Lord takes to return, the more people He saves. His delay is because He loves those chosen to be part of His Bride, part of His Church. This is what Peter means in 2 Pe 3:15, talking about waiting for the Lord to come back, he writes, “count the patience of our Lord as salvation…” (2 Pet. 3:15). “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance,” (2 Pet. 3:9). I wonder if Peter learned that from this parable? Well that’s the first lesson from this parable: not only do the wise virgins realize how much the bridegroom loves his bride, they consider it a very great honour to serve as bridesmaids. Do you feel that way about being Christian? That you have been given an honour? You should. The second question to ask yourself is…

How do the wise treat the bride & groom? (6-10)

This question is important because this is a picture of your future. Verse 1 says the Kingdom will be like this. Like what? Like the arrival of the bridegroom. That’s the second scene in verses 6-10. Notice just two things here. First, notice the scene, and second, notice the response of the wise bridesmaids. Here’s the scene: “But at midnight there was a cry, 'Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him,'” (Matt. 25:6 ESV). There they all are, with their torches burning low, asleep outside the bride’s father’s home. And they hear a shout in the dark, “He’s coming! Come meet him!” So now notice how the wise bridesmaids respond.

Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps.  8 And the foolish said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.'  9 But the wise answered, saying, 'Since there will not be enough for us and for you, go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves.'  (Matt. 25:7-9 ESV)

At first the response of the wise and foolish virgins seems the same. They all quickly trim the wicks of their torches so they gives as much light as possible. They all know the time has come for them to do their part. But verse 8 is where the wise stand out from the foolish. You see the wise bridesmaids were doing their part all along. They not only knew what their job was, they made sure they would be able to still do their job no matter how long they had to wait. The foolish fail as bridesmaids.

But look at verse 9. When the foolish ask for the others to share their oil, look how the wise answer them: “But the wise answered, saying, 'Since there will not be enough for us and for you, go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves,'” (Matt. 25:9 ESV). The more you think about this parable, the more it helps you see. I asked you to think about how the wise bridesmaids treat the bride and groom here. I know the groom is barely mentioned and the bride is only implied. But look how the wise treat them with such honour. They take their job as bridesmaids so seriously that they don’t dare risk failing in their service to the bride and groom. Their job is to light the way for the procession to the wedding feast, and light the way is what they’re going to do no matter what. They aren’t heartless—they tell the other five to go to the seller and buy some oil. But they won’t compromise in their sacred duty. They won’t risk their own torches going out. They aren’t taking any chances when it comes to their part in the couple’s big day. But again, this is what the Kingdom of Heaven will be like. In the future. On that day.

But right now are you more like a foolish bridesmaid? Well wake up and I’ll tell you how to get more oil for your lamp! Repent of your sins! Believe in the Lord Jesus and ask God to forgive your sins on account of Jesus. And He will forgive you, He will save you! Then serve Him for the rest of your life. But don’t come to me on the day He returns and ask how to be saved then. Now is the day to repent. Then it will be too late. Ask me today for compassion and I will give it! The church of Christ loves as we have been loved; forgives as we have been forgiven; gives mercy as we have received mercy. But if you procrastinate until that day, in the future, when the Lord comes back, you won’t get mercy but justice. Are you like a bridesmaid who thinks the wedding is all about you? I tell you, when Christ’s Kingdom come it is not going to be your Big Day but His. The wise let nothing stop them from honouring their Lord (and His bride) with whole-hearted love and loyalty. “And while they were going to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was shut,” (Matt. 25:10 ESV).

I said the Lord describes three scenes that make you consider what separates true and false Christians when His Kingdom comes. First we saw that what separates true Christians from false Christians is thoughtful commitment to serve the Lord until He comes. So what do we see separating true from false Christians in verses 6-10? Obviously we see a Door separating them. But besides that? We see that for true Christians, Christ is their first love. Hebrews 6:10 says, “God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints…” But the true Christian must never put love for others ahead of love for God. The true Christian loves people as worship for God. But it is not true love for God if you put others first. You must not be disloyal to the Lord in the name of love toward others. Jesus said this is what the Kingdom of Heaven will be like and it doesn’t surprise me at all that we live in a time when more and more churches betray God and call it love for their neighbour. It is not “love” to say God smiles on your sexual sin, on your rebellion, on your so-called “identity.” It is love to tell sinners “Jesus died to save you from your sins not for your sins.” If you love God, put Him first. Honour the Lord above anything and anyone. That’s how the wise bridesmaids treat the bridegroom (and how they love the bride!). Lastly, looking at the end of this parable, ask yourself…

How do the foolish treat the bride & groom? (11-13)

This question is important because this is a picture of your future. Verse 1 says the Kingdom will be like this. Like what? You need to notice two things: what the foolish virgins call the bridegroom, and what the bridegroom says to them. “Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, 'Lord, lord, open to us,'” (Matt. 25:11 ESV). So how do the foolish five treat the bridegroom and his bride? Well, there’s just one word for it: hypocrisy. They knock on the door of his house and call him “Lord, lord!” But that’s not what their behaviour showed so far. They didn’t take their role as bridesmaids very seriously. Because they weren’t concerned about having enough oil. They were presumptuous. The girls whose one job was to light the way for the wedding procession only came prepared for a short wait. Which might imply they only expected the groom’s discussions with the bride’s family to be short. Which suggests they had a low opinion of his love for the bride. And when the time came to lead the bride and bridegroom in procession to the wedding feast, they were off making the preparations they should have made long ago. But now they call Him Lord.

So what does He say to them? “But he answered, 'Truly, I say to you, I do not know you,'” (Matt. 25:12 ESV). He says “truly” but is He telling the truth? Wouldn’t he know the names of all ten girls in the wedding party? Of course. He’s not saying he doesn’t know their names. He’s saying they are strangers to him. This is the same thing Jesus said in His great sermon in Matthew 7:

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.  22 On that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?'  23 And then will I declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.' (Matt. 7:21-23 ESV)

This is what it will be like when the Kingdom of Jesus Christ comes. So the important question is not how will the Lord treat false Christians, but how do false Christians treat the Lord and His Bride? Shamefully. Dishonourably. Poorly. They repay His grace with presumption. They don’t bother being ready for His Wedding Day. They make excuses for their failure to serve Him. They show little love for His bride. Their behaviour proves they don’t really know the Lord Jesus Christ. And if they dream about Heaven it’s not to be together with Jesus. It’s not union with Him that matters most to them. So when they ask to be allowed into His Kingdom, He will say, “I don’t know you.”

Therefore consider carefully whether you are more like the five thoughtful bridesmaids, or like the five foolish bridesmaids. Consider carefully how the Lord has treated you—what grace He has given you, what honour He has bestowed on you “that you should be called children of God,” (John 1:12). Consider also how you have treated your Lord—with honour or with presumption? And let the Lord’s words in this parable convict you, correct you, and call you to serve Him until He comes: “Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour,” (Matt. 25:13 ESV).

Isn’t it interesting that here, like the other times in Matthew’s Gospel, when Jesus compares Himself to a bridegroom, He doesn’t say who the Bride is? But it’s not a great mystery. It’s like the question in the story before this: “Who is the faithful and wise servant?” (24:45) Every true believer wants to be that wise servant. And every true Christian wants to be the wise bridesmaid. But if you confess your sins, and believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord, you know what? Not only will you be in that wedding feast on the day His Kingdom comes, it will be your wedding too. The first day being together with Jesus. If He is your first love now, you will be His. And then you will live happily ever after.