If you have cable or satellite TV, consider getting rid of it or disabling the channels that get you into trouble. If your system has a parental control feature, ask your spouse to set it so that you won’t be tempted by problem channels and make sure only your spouse knows the password. If you use Netflix, get your spouse or trusted friend to help you set up a user profile with an appropriate allowed rating (see Netflix’s account settings page on their website). Netflix apps on iOS, Android, and Windows 8/10 are not filtered for content by most accountability software available. So invite your spouse or accountability partner to regularly check up on your “viewing history” on the Netflix website.
If you have a computer with Internet access, I recommend following the THREE-PART STRATEGY on our parent’s page, and making your spouse or a trustworthy friend the only person with an Administrator password. When you set up filter/accountability software, make sure that all potentially dangerous categories are checked off for sites that will be banned. And when you from time to time, come across a site that is dangerous but not yet banned by the filter, use the software’s option for adding that site to the “black list” (all the software I’ve tried has a similar feature). You won’t be able to go there again.
The next, and most important step, to actually break free from the grip that pornography probably by now has on your life is to understand and accept the nature of porn as sin and turn your heart instead to God in real repentance. This is not an easy step. If you are reasonably comfortable using a computer try one of these two online courses:
- The Overcome Porn app for iPhone (Read more about the Challenge here)
- Android app is coming soon!
- Read this article.
- Gospel Growth Ministries (formerly “Setting Captives Free”, this is a new site and ministry as of October 1, 2015)
- 180 Ministries
- X3 Pure (formerly Pure Online)
However, though the above courses can help you to “renew your mind” and break old addictions, to stay free from the powerful draw of old sin you must make yourself personally accountable to other Christians in a local church. Sin is like mushrooms: it grows in the dark. Bringing your struggle with pornography into the light through making yourself vulnerable to one or two trusted Christians of the same sex can help to keep you from slipping back into the chains that once held you. I urge you to talk to your pastor or another wise elder in your church and begin steps to shine the light on the dark corners of your life.
I also recommend you visit CovenantEyes’ website and download a free copy of the book, Your Brain on Porn: 5 Proven Ways Pornography Warps Your Mind and 3 Biblical Ways to Renew It.
Also, I want to recommend three resources from Christian blogger, Tim Challies at Challies.com:
- The first resource is Sexual Detox: A Guide for the Single Guy (download the e-book by righ-clicking here and selecting “save target as”).
- The second resource is the same e-book but targeted to especially young, married men.
- Lastly, Aileen Challies wrote a series of blog articles for married women struggling with the effects of pornography in their marriages and with other sexual issues. The Challies have said an e-book is coming but in the meantime, click here to read the blog posts for women (part 1), (part 2), and (part 3).
I pray these resources are blessed by God to glorify Himself through bringing healing in your life and in your marriage.